...and some big, 'Merican breasts!

Sometimes, my customers are too cute for words. Last night's shift in my Spenard store was slow, all things considered, but many of my regulars were in for their usual purchases and it was nice to see them after the weekend off last week. Many of them asked questions about my sprained right hand, which I was all too glad to answer - fighting off a date rapist makes me quite the badass, you know, especially when I am pretty sure I was under the influence of GHB or something similar thereto.

Anyway, toward the end of the evening this young man (22 years old, I checked his passport) from the Motherland (at first I couldn't remember if it was Motherland or Fatherland, but it was pointed out to me by Square that Germany is the Fatherland. Of course!) of Russia came in, fresh-faced and innocent, purchasing a 12 pack of Budweiser beer. His accent was charming, and he was so polite and so nice, we chatted for a bit. He was clearly uncomfortable with his English (which was very good, by the way) and I learned he had crossed the Pacific to work in Alaska for the summer, doing construction.

"I haff alvays vanted to come to 'Merica und haff a Bud-viser beer. It's bin a dream ov mine for years und years."

How freaking cute is that?

Of course, I quickly informed him that if he was going to come to America for the beer, he should make sure he samples the goods from the local Alaskan brewers - Midnite Sun, Moose's Tooth, Glacier Brewhouse, etc. His accent and mannerisms reminded me so much of Steve Martin and Dan Akroyd's Czech brothers, the "Wild und Crazaaay Guys!" from Saturday Night Live, I half expected him to add "Yah, und I vud also like to touch some big 'Merican breasts!"

Luckily he didn't wear tight slacks to show off his bulge. Or stick tuna sandwiches under each arm so he smells like no other man.

Haff a....how is it? A good one? A good night? Or day?

Yah.

Haff a good one.